I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
These tits shall not be calmed
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