Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
