I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
