I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
