dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
