I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
