I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night