did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Randomize
