Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES