Betty ford says i'm here all night
I want to make a zoo with you.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.