need another drink. this is the easiest way
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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