i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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