well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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