It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
