can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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