I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
