someone owes me an orgasm
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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