Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Randomize
