She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
