So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
These Attractive Criminals Took Sexy Mugshots That Made Them Famous
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.