Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
15 Things That Could NEVER Happen Anywhere But the South
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
15 Times “Flight of the Conchords” Made You Feel Better About Being a Twenty-Something
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.