So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.