Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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