it's like her boobs came off with her bra
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
