So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
