i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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