For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
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