The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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