Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
