I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Randomize
