you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
