I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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