I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Randomize
