Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
