Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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