Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
