So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
