Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
