The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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