my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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