Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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