the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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