Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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