He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
false alarm, still single
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
