mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize