He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Moan for me like Helen Keller
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
she pinky promised me she was 18
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
