imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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