I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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