I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
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