I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
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