I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
