Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
