absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
