Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
