Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Randomize
