I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize
