i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
