I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Never underestimate the power of titties
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
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