She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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