She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
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