I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Randomize
