I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
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